Like many aspects of the ways in which U.S. society approaches motherhood, Mother’s Day can seem well-intentioned\u2014and not quite land right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you\u2019re a mom reading this, my guess is that you agree with me. Mother\u2019s Day can feel cliched: flowers, cards, and dinner; mothers tasked with cleanup, childcare, and middle-of-the-night wakeups when the festivities wind down. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you\u2019re a mom reading this, my guess is you\u2019d love some help tomorrow and you would’ve loved some help yesterday. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My guess is at some point or another (especially recently amidst a pandemic and a childcare crisis that pulled millions of mothers<\/a> out of the workforce and toward the brink of breakdown), you’ve felt as though your role as a mother has gone uncelebrated, unnoticed, or worse, underappreciated, discriminated against.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A quick look at Motherly<\/em>‘s State of Motherhood<\/a> Report in 2021 would suggest you\u2019re also completely and utterly exhausted: 93% of mothers in that survey reported feeling burnt out<\/a> at least \u201coccasionally.\u201d It\u2019s a figure that\u2019s up seven points from last year’s survey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ninety-three percent. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Mothers in this country feel burnt out for all sorts of reasons\u2014not the least of which is the dated systems that weren\u2019t built for or by us and that don\u2019t serve us. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But another big culprit of burnout<\/a> is more tangible: Moms don\u2019t have the support they need at home. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Per that Motherly<\/em> survey, 45% of mothers report being the primary caregivers for their children (a statistic that was closer to 53% for Black mothers in the survey). Very few moms (10%) have a partner who takes a fair share of the caregiving responsibilities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A different survey last year found that 43% of moms<\/a> said the best gift they could receive for Mother’s Day<\/a> would be one night of uninterrupted sleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Before I was a mother, a mother I knew told me that for Mother\u2019s Day, her husband had booked her a hotel for a night in the city alone. At the time, I didn\u2019t understand the attraction. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But I think the gift of sleep in motherhood goes beyond hours spent sleeping. <\/p>\n\n\n\nMore moms than ever are feeling burnt out<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
What moms really want for Mother’s Day<\/h2>\n\n\n\n